Overheard At A Waffle House

The following was overheard at a Waffle House, which for those new to this, is a fantastic breakfast/greasy spoon joint, which serves up a mammoth double patty melts with glorious sides of smothered and covered hash browns, etc.

This was a conversation between two older black dudes and an older heavy set white
dude wearing a Vietnam Vets baseball cap, who was eating with them. Phonetics used to enhance the whole bi-racial experience and to properly illustrate the local vernacular. If you think this is racist, then you probably need to get a new hobby.

Black man 1: Hey, what the difference between a restorent and a cafay?

Black man 2: I dunno. maybe like the differnce tween a saloon and a tavern.

Black man 1: mo’ like a difference between a cafoteria and a cafay. I know that one. Like Morrison’s, when they was in business. If they serve rice, they is a cafeteria. Cafay don’t serve rice.

Black man 2: Yes they do. How you know they don’t?

Black man 1:Cuz I do.

Black man 1: Look. a restorent serve rice. Rice and beans. and greens. Ain’t no cafay serve greens.

Black man 2: Aint no difference tween a tavern and a saloon.

Fat white man: No, no you got it all wrong. The difference between a fucking restaurant and a cafe is that the menu is shorter. that’s all. It has a shorter goddam menu.

Black man 1: No that aint right.

Black man 2: Yea, he’s right.

Fat white man: I’m fucking telling you, a cafe has a shorter menu than a restaurant. End of scene.

Black man 1: What ’bout a cafoteria? I know they serve rice.

Fat white man: What the fuck does rice have to do with it being a restaurant or a cafe?

black man 1: No. what I’m sayin is that they serve rice in a cafoteria, so why not in a cafay?

White man: How the fuck should I know?

Black man 1: Dunno. All I know is I like my womens just like my coffee: hot and white!

Then all three of them laughed for a couple of minutes while I blew orange juice out through my nose!