I Love The Smell Of Posts In The Morning
‘Intro/Penance’
Me: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. It’s been almost two years since my last post. I posted twenty times.
Priest: Okay, okay, do 12 Hail Marys and an Our Father and blah, blah, blahdee blah blah…
‘Update’
I guess things were not so humorous for me after going through a divorce, financial ruin and a bankruptcy filing, hence the lack of reportage. However, by now, the dust has pretty much settled and being a survivor of sorts, I’ve decided to pick back up with the writing, even though nobody is reading this except for my girlfriend, bless her!
‘Humor’
I perceive Bankruptcy filing as sort of like a reverse divorce (only works this way when you were the one dumped by your ex). You get to tell your creditors that they are unworthy of your attention and that you don’t want to hang out with them any more. In fact, you tell them that you’re leaving, taking the kids (i.e. tv, all the stuff in the garage, etc) and NOT COMING BACK. They did get the truck, but I kept the house.
Well, sort of like a divorce, with some differences. Actually, I found my bankruptcy attorney more like some chick who isn’t into you any more. The other day I was in a dead panic because the bank had called me about repossessing the vehicle. I called my lawyer’s office, babbling about what should I say and this and that and the secretary went right into ‘She’s busy right now and can’t come to the phone. Besides, she already went over this with you.’ It called back all of my Relationship Phone Rejections, delivered by Her Roommate :
ME: is Helen there?
RM: Uh, she’s in the shower.
ME: Do you know when she’ll be out?
RM: no
ME: Can you have her call me?
RM: Look, she’s already told you to stop calling her. Don’t you get it? Fuck off.
(click, dial tone)
I felt completely shot down and lost most of my self-confidence in the legal arena and may never again be able to ‘get it up’ for even a class action lawsuit.
Regardless, Bankruptcy attorneys are much nicer than divorce shyster and from what I’ve heard, so are the trustees. Hmmm, trustee, that sounds like some kind of an institutional title, like if you are in a mental hospital or a jail or if your money is being taken care of by someone else……..oh, I get it..yes, a trustee, who will distribute my ‘wealth’ to my ‘creditors’ as a matter of course and as the meat and potatoes, if you will, of bankruptcy.
Well, as it turns out, there isn’t any money for the ‘trustee’ to be entrusted with, so she is also going to have to move on, just like the rest of the financial world. We’re breaking up, for good. Yes, BOA, Chase, et al, we fought the good fight and now it’s time to say goodbye, hopefully for good. I think they refer to it as irreconcilable differences. That’s when we are allowed to legally disconnect from all of this nonsense and start ‘with a clean slate’.
‘Scale’
So, here is the ‘Clean Slate Descending Scale’ in full:
No Creditors
No Credit
No Money
No Property
No Pussy
No Fun
‘Summary’
Hopefully, in the future, as our civilization topples and banks lose their strangle hold on the middle class, I will benefit from having already disconnected from the evil banking empire and finally be able to live a life, along with others, who, without the stress of debt and enslavement to The Man, can finally bask in the sunshine of FREEDOM.
That means they won’t want flat screen tvs and BMW sedans either, but I wouldn’t count on it, Sport.
TM
